Oh, But Baby, It's Cold Outside
by Keitorin Asthore
Summary: "Why were you spying on me when I was naked in the shower?" "...I didn't know you were naked in the shower." A little bit of Elf!Klaine, starring Blaine as Buddy and Kurt as Jovie. Merry Christmas! Klaine. Oneshot. COMPLETE.


Disclaimer: Glee belongs to Ryan Murphy and Fox, not me. Elf belongs to...someone who is not me. Probably Will Ferrell? I'm not sure.

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Blaine perked up. He could hear someone singing, and it was beautiful. He hadn't heard anyone singing that wonderfully since he left home.

The voice echoed through the empty department store and he followed it in a daze, humming along with it. He nudged a door open and wandered closer.

"I really can't stay," the voice sang, sweet and clear. "I've got to go 'way."

He crept a little closer, following the sound. It was definitely the loveliest singing that he'd ever heard, the north pole choir included.

"The neighbors might think."

"But baby, it's bad out there," Blaine sang back. He couldn't help it, he just had to. A voice that marvelous shouldn't have to sing along.

"Say, what's in this drink?"

"No cabs to be had out there."

"I wish I knew how to break the spell."

"I'll take your hat, your hair looks swell."

He pulled himself up to sit cross-legged, linking his fingers together while he sang along, harmonizing with the bell-like mystery voice. The sound carried over the rhythmic, soothing noise of the shower and he leaned a little closer towards the voice, breathing in the sweet, spicy smell of shampoo.

"I ought to say no, no, no sir."

"Mind if I move in closer?"

"At least I'm gonna say that I tried."

"What's the sense of hurting my pride?"

"I really can't stay."

"Oh, but it's cold outside," they sang together, and Blaine let his voice carry a little, smiling as it echoed back to him.

Suddenly the mystery voice stopped abruptly. Blaine jumped as the shower curtain drew back, the plastic rings shrieking on the metal bar. He tried to peer around the corner to get a better look and found himself staring into a pair of beautiful blue eyes. Kurt's eyes, he realized happily.

But Kurt didn't seem quite as happy. His wet hair was plastered to his forehead, his eyes were very wide, and soap dripped down his cheek and neck. Blaine smiled at him.

"Don't look!" Kurt shrieked, snatching the shower curtain to cover himself up.

"What?" Blaine stammered as he fell off the counter.

"Don't look! Get out! Don't look!" Kurt screamed.

Blaine covered his eyes as he skidded across the floor, but he ran into the wall instead, and that sort of hurt, so he opened his eyes just enough to squint at the door and dart out.

He hid in the back of the toy department until the store opened, sitting cross-legged behind a large display of Light-Brites and frowning at the floor. Kurt was mad at him. But why was Kurt mad at him? He just wanted to sing with him.

When the store was bustling with shoppers and Christmas music was playing over the sound system, he crept out into the store. Kurt was sitting at the gift wrap counter, frowning in concentration as he wrapped shiny green paper around a large box. Blaine ducked behind a cardboard cutout of a Transformer robot to watch him. He was awfully cute like that, with the tip of his tongue poking out a little between his lips. But then he glanced up, catching sight of Blaine, and beckoned to him.

"Hey, you," he said, sounding grumpy.

Blaine peeked out. "Me?" he mouthed, pointing at himself.

Kurt waved him over with his scissors. "Come here," he said. "I want to talk to you."

Blaine inched towards him, hands clasped behind his back. "What do you want to talk to me about?" he asked. He hoped it was something good.

"How come you were spying on me in the locker room this morning?" Kurt asked.

Oh. So it wasn't something good.

He shifted his weight, locking his fingers together. "I heard you singing," he said.

Kurt's pretty blue eyes narrowed. "You're sure it had nothing to do with the fact that I was naked in the shower?" he said, his mouth tilting to the side.

"I didn't know you were naked," Blaine hedged. He inched a little closer to him. Kurt smelled nice, sweet but a little spicy, like a frosted gingerbread cookie. "Why were you here so early?"

Kurt exhaled slowly, making his hair lift off his forehead and brush lightly against the red trim on his silly-looking elf hat. "They shut my water off," he said. Blaine tilted his head to the side. He wasn't entirely sure what that meant, but it made Kurt look sad. Sad and tired. But he shook his head and picked up a spool of gold ribbon to wrap around the present. "What were you doing here so early?"

Blaine rose up on his toes, smiling. "Making this," he said proudly.

Kurt paused and glanced around the decorated toy department. "You built this?" he said, sounding impressed.

"Mm-hm," Blaine said, nodding enthusiastically.

Kurt smiled, one side of his mouth tilting up more than the other. It made a deep dimple pop in his cheek, and Blaine was overcome with the sudden desire to poke it. "They're kind of pissed about this," he said.

Blaine blinked. "Really?" he said.

The head of the toy department stomped over to them, scowling deeply. "Hey," she said sharply. "Have you seen this place?"

"Mm-hm," Kurt said with a blasé air as he drew the scissors along the length of the ribbon to make them curl.

"It's pretty good," Rachel said, looking around the department with her arms crossed over her chest. "A little too good. Corporate must have sent in a professional." She breathed deeply, her frown getting a little deeper. "I don't know why somebody's gunning for my job…" She breathed in and out again, like she was trying to calm herself. "But look- let's remain a team, okay? Because if I go, then we all go."

Blaine rocked up on his toes, unsure of what to say. Kurt seemed like he was flat out ignoring Rachel. She planted her hands on the counter and leaned in closer till her nose was nearly touching Kurt's. "If you get wind of anything, call me on my radio. Channel three. Code word is 'Santa's got a brand new bag. Okay?" She paused, looking down at the wrapped present. "Six inch ribbon curls, honey."

Kurt looked up and blinked. "That's impossible," he said flatly.

"Six…inches!" Rachel barked, before spinning on the toe of her shiny mary jane shoe and stomping away.

Kurt sighed, rolling his eyes, and continued to pluck at the shining gold ribbons. Blaine hesitated, then leaned in close to Kurt's ear.

"By the way," he whispered. "I think you have the most beautiful singing voice in the whole wide world."

He leaned back to see Kurt staring at him, a rosy blush rising on his cheeks. "Thank you…I think," Kurt said.

Blaine swallowed hard. "I think you're beautiful," he blurted out. Kurt's cheeks turned holly-berry-red and the scissors had nearly slid out of his fingers. "And I, um…I feel really warm around you. And…um…my tongue swells up. So…" He cleared his throat. "Do you want to go eat food?"

Kurt's jaw dropped. "Do I…do I want to eat food?" he echoed.

Blaine nodded eagerly. "Mm-hm," he said. "You know, uh…the code. Food." He smiled helpfully, hoping that would help. Papa Elf always said that his smile could win anyone over.

Kurt went back to curling the shiny gold ribbons. "Well, I just had my lunch break," he said.

Blaine's smile faded. "Oh," he said sadly. "Okay. I understand."

He started to walk away.

"But…"

He turned around to see Kurt smiling at him, just a little, looking at him from under his long lashes. "I'm free Thursday," he offered.

"Thursday," Blaine echoed. He grinned. "Thursday!"

"Thursday," Kurt said.

He nodded eagerly. "That'd be great," he said fervently.

Kurt smiled, for real this time, his lovely eyes crinkling a little bit in the corners. "All right," he said. He set the present aside and picked up the next box to wrap it.

Blaine beamed, skipping away. He was already planning the perfect date. It was going to be marvelous.

Thursday couldn't come fast enough- although learning how to work in the mailroom at his big brother's work had been an exciting distraction. But at last it was Thursday, and he was waiting outside the front of the department store with his hands in his coat pockets, bouncing up and down.

Kurt walked down the sidewalk towards him, looking a little shy. His navy coat was buttoned up to his neck and a brightly colored scarf was wrapped around his neck. Blaine stared, unabashed. "Hi," Kurt said.

"Wow," Blaine said. "You look miraculous."

Kurt ducked his head, smiling. "So do you," he said, shrugging his shoulders a little awkwardly. Blaine smiled so hard it made his face hurt. "So…what would you like to do?"

Blaine grabbed his hand, locking his gloved fingers around Kurt's slim bare ones. "I've got some ideas," he said, and took off running down the sidewalk with Kurt trailing behind him, laughing a little.

He introduced Kurt to all of his new favorite things in New York- the world's best cup of coffee, the magical spinning doors, the brightly lit and decorated shop windows. But the best part wasn't reliving all those wonderful things and showing them off to Kurt. No, the best part was watching Kurt open up, like the way wrapping paper falls off an oddly shaped gift. It's tricky to undo all the tape around the nooks and crannies, but it's a little fun at the same time. And that's what Kurt was like for him- watching him smile, and laugh, and the silly way his lips would quirk when he was about to say something funny, and the cute way his dimples would pop in and out of his cheeks when he talked. Blaine was having a hard time concentrating, he was staring at Kurt so hard.

"What should we do now?" Kurt asked, his cheeks and lips rosy from running around in the cold.

"I want to show you the Christmas trees!" Blaine said. "There's a big one down this way-"

"Blaine, wait, stop, traffic-"

One of the big yellow cars shrieked to a halt, the horn blaring and the driver shouting grumpy things as Kurt dragged Blaine away. "The yellow ones don't stop," he said, smiling apologetically.

"The yellow ones don't stop," Kurt repeated. He sighed, and it sounded frustrated, but he was smiling. Suddenly he grabbed Blaine's hand. "Come with me."

Blaine jogged behind him, sliding his arm up to link Kurt's elbow with his. Kurt felt nice and warm against him- comfortable. It was comfortable. That's what it was. Kurt reminded him of home. He smiled harder and squeezed Kurt's arm closer to his side, and Kurt squeezed back.

"There," Kurt said, tugging Blaine in front of the largest Christmas tree he'd ever seen. Kurt turned to him expectantly, his smile bright. "Well?"

Blaine's mouth rounded into a surprised O. "Wow," he breathed. "That's a big one."

Kurt nodded, laughing a little as he watched the lights sparkle on the tree, and Blaine couldn't help it. He nestled closer and kissed Kurt on the cheek, breathing in the sweet scent of his hair and the softness of his skin, and then leaned back. "Sorry," he said.

Kurt tilted his head and just looked at him, puzzled, his hair slightly mussed and his lips pursed, like he was waiting for something. "You missed," he said.

Blaine frowned. "What do you mean, I missed?" he repeated, perplexed.

Kurt took his hands in both of his and leaned in closer to press his lips to his. Blaine jumped, startled, and then melted against Kurt's mouth, his hand creeping up to curve around the softness of the nape of his neck. It was strange and startling and amazing all at once, and it warmed him up and made his knees weak and he wanted to stay like that forever, kissing Kurt just like that. Even Christmas seemed to suddenly pale in comparison.

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**Author's Notes:**

Merry Christmas, everyone! Here, have some adorable Elf!Klaine! Because of course Blaine would the adorably naive and lovable Buddy the Elf, and Kurt would be the cynically sweet Jovie. And they're precious. So precious.

I hope you had a lovely holiday! I've made and eaten WAY too much food, and snuggled with my husband and cat, and opened wonderful presents, and saw Rise of the Guardians with my family, and it's been marvelous. Merry Christmas, everybody!


End file.
